Live For Success!

Live For Success CoverAll songs by Nathan Beach and Grant K
© 1998 Bryan’s Cabin Songs, ASCAP

Recorded at The Music Hole, Austin
Recording by Climate
Finished 22 October 1998
Self-released to CD-R
Special Friends Records (SFR02)
73:19

This was recorded in the Music Hole on Wickersham Lane in Austin during the autumn months of 1998 to an analog 8-track cassette recorder, Yamaha MT-8X. The album is based loosely on the book Live For Success! by John T. Malloy. The album progresses in size from 7 seconds (the first song) to 23 minutes (the last song). Climate should have made the titles something actually related to the song content.

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  1. Success and Failure (0:08)
  2. How To Maximize The Power of Shirts (0:23)
  3. Office Politics (0:35)
  4. Golf, Of Course (1:06)
  5. A Special Word For The Professional Man (1:38)
  6. A Twentieth-Century Approach To Men’s Clothing (2:01)
  7. The Friendship Network (3:11)
  8. Practice For Success (3:44)
  9. Being Liked (5:06)
  10. The Executive Spouse (7:06)
  11. How To Overcome Your Own Background (9:04)
  12. The Interview Game Or Selling Yourself (15:08)
  13. Key Attributes Employers Look For In New Hires (23:37)

Lyrics

SUCCESS AND FAILURE

this is a fascinating study of successful and unsuccessful people

HOW TO MAXIMIZE THE POWER OF SHIRTS

(instrumental)

OFFICE POLITICS

rinsing bottles of broken liquid
washing them with soap like dirty dishes
turn them into Camden Yards daygame wishes
fishes, misha, mixing them with squid
vladmir don’t cry (i have nothing to say)
representing rabbis in the senate
blessing all the children with freckles and hair
beans are 50 rubles and 20 for the pears
trousers extra long with cuffs infinite
vladmir don’t cry (I have nothing to say)
vladmir don’t cry (I have nothing to-day)

GOLF OF COURSE

i am smiling all the same

A SPECIAL WORD FOR THE PROFESSIONAL MAN

I think everybody should give me a nut
as they pass by on the road.
Passing cars and a truck.
I think they should give me nuts
because I deserve it.
I live on this street.
I feed out of its dumpsters.
I have no home.
I jump from building to building since
there are no trees.

Now I wander the streets no more —
Flat like a wooden postcard.
Rabid teeth protruding for not-severe tire-damage.
Asphalt melted to one side of my cute furry body.
Bushy tail brittle in the sun.
I got A’s in squirrel school.
I am a wandering toll booth.

A TWENTIETH-CENTURY APPROACH TO MEN’S CLOTHING

(instrumental)

THE FRIENDSHIP NETWORK

When you come home, please come home to me.
[please go home with me]
Someone’s waiting with some cups of tea.
[blessed celibacy]

Dallas airfield, now called an airport.
[D/FW for short]
Blurried people head for the Worthy Fort.
[others are the Dallas sort]
Lots of people seem to go nowhere.
[don’t forget to share]
No-one has friends when they do not share.
[lonely like a bear]

We have friends and are so friendly.
We should win the Swiss presidency.
We made Hitler like the Red Army.
Jimmy Carter ain’t got nothing on me.

I gotta’ go. I gotta’ go.
My memory’s calling me.
Turning all the squares
Into the new history.

PRACTICE FOR SUCCESS

if you are awake i would love for you to come on by!

you told me it wasn’t even
you told me it was with some place downtown
well i’m going to have to knock on your door or something
okay alright hello? goodbye
i am puzzled why your answering machine don’t work

i asked a favour of you
could you get my mail on the outside?
i didn’t get through to you i guess
if you’re awake, i would appreciate
i am puzzled why your answering machine don’t work

it looks like you’ve finally come home
your red car — it’s back at the house
the note i left on the door is gone, it’s missing
i don’t know why you don’t answer me
i am puzzled why your answering machine don’t work

i am not sure whether or not you
check your message service everyday
i thought i saw your car in the driveway in the shade at least
that’s where it doesn’t get so hot
i am puzzled why your answering machine don’t work

BEING LIKED

you fly to paris while i load my gun
and our three chinese comrades are having such fun
i meant, you were what riding as you left my town?
were you riding a horse or just messing around?
don’t speak that way, you’re declining inflection
only foreigners speak with such a lack of direction
let’s walk a while since all the free seats are taken
all the programmes are bought and the play is forsaken
legs cover ears up and i don’t have to see
all the smells that increase my misogyny
my love is leaving why should she stay
being pidgeons at bedtime and sleeping all day

i’d rather wake than sleep for the fear
of the wake of the morning sun

the inventors have been found
and the cobbler has no pie
and the old men have been checkered
and the blacksmith has been shoed
the morticians are dead
one too many in the head

THE EXECUTIVE SPOUSE

hired a maid for the dishes
and one for cleaning
the house
and cars
and a boy for the garden
let us have some rich kids, Cindy
let us make some rich kids, Cindy

risking money on wall street
cell phone users are saying
buy low
sell high
while the market is closing
let us have some rich kids, Cindy
let us make some rich kids, Cindy

shoes and furs and mercedes
a wife’s a great investment
in flesh
and hair
and a nice set of toenails
let us have some rich kids, Cindy
let us make some rich kids, Cindy

HOW TO OVERCOME YOUR OWN BACKGROUND

you’re on your own
on your own for the next few days
until you leave for west virginia
until you leave for west virginia
you’re invited every night
every evening
after you get out of work
to have supper with me
and it is pretty simple
i just heat it up in the microwave
i don’t have to do any cooking
but i have desserts
and i have drinks
i think maybe i can fatten you up
just give me a call
because it is definite and i expect
you to get over here
you are here
you are here:
thursday night
friday night
saturday night
sunday night
and then you’ll be gone
and then you’ll be gone

when you pulled the plug out of my radio
or whatever
that you brought over to me
you pulled out the wires so that i can’t
reach back there it’s not urgent but if
you could come over call me first i’ll
open the door and you can stick the plug
back in turn it up so i can feel turn it
up so i can hear turn it up so i can feel
so i can’t hear i can’t feel the radio
just call me feel the call me

i want you to come on over
take a little drink and share supper with me
so let me know i got plenty to feed you
and feed you and feed you and feed you
you choose your meal and i’ll have it ready
for you very quickly with desserts and drinks
okay with desserts
okay with drinks
okay with desserts and drinks

you choose your meal and i’ll have it ready
for you you choose your meal

THE INTERVIEW GAME OR SELLING YOURSELF

(instrumental)

KEY ATTRIBUTES EMPLOYERS LOOK FOR IN NEW HIRES

i. EFFICIENT PLANNING

ii. ABILITY TO WORK WITH OTHERS

iii. GOOD COMMUNICATION

and the mothers have been born
the rosy offspring cooing screaming
modern scientists all make discoveries
of great importance and
the tailor has been altered his pant
cuffs are pressed he mends the dress
he cannot complain he must confess
because modern scientists all make
discoveries of great importance
that make his life so easy
he had risen early and the morning air
was gently sneezing only on the window pane
because he cannot go out again because
life is now a computer
with a point ‘n’ click he shops for groceries
orders friends meets porno stars
he is to blame for being poor his sister’s
friends are in the country having a good time
she asked him whether he had seen the frisky
cat named rump machine
the door is closed at half-past nine if he eats
pears and lives the lives of many cuban gangsters
hamsters wake at half-past six and run around
and do some tricks the furniture cartel is growing
haitian immigrants are rowing drinking taste plus value
domesticated girls are grown and paco does not like
to row he has carried out his final plan he sleeps
on standard fitted sheets on furniture from cuba
and the water runs dry and the water runs dry
and the water runs dry and the water runs dry oh my

iv. COMPETENCE AND KNOWLEDGE

v. INTEGRITY

you can dig my grave with a silver spade
there’s a long white robe up in heaven for me
there’s a starry crown up in heaven for me
there’s a golden harp up in heaven for me
you can pluck one string and the whole heaven rings
do you think i will make a soldier?

vi. ENTHUSIASM FOR YOUR WORK

© 1998 Bryan’s Cabin Songs, ASCAP